People have many different reasons for wanting to start their own company. I’ve heard about wanting to be you own boss or a life where you choose your own hours or some other freedom from the 9-5, monkey suit, corporate America. Being honest with myself about where my motivations lie for starting Mostly Epic means facing and identifying what I want out of a career and out of life.

Starting a company

I was lucky enough to live near my friends Angela and Gabe for a time after we all graduated from college together. We often held conversations deep into the night about one heavy topic or another usually lubricated with beer for me and red wine for Gabe. During one of these nights the topic made its way to the classic question of what we wanted to have happen in the next 10 years of our lives. There were suggestions of having a happy family (Gabe and Angela were newly married at the time), and of holding a strong faith, as well as making a difference in your respective field.

Hearing their views on a happy life frustrated me – not because I thought they were off base. Exactly the opposite, in fact. I wanted those things, I wanted all of those things. And more. But how?

Looking back, I’d say I was successful at being a student – at least since a poor 4th grade report card scared me into caring about school. Being a good student was so black and white. Your worth was measured on a 5 letter scale from F to A. I was not prepared for the multi-faceted, no-feedback greyscale that was life after school. To me, it was like being thrown into an role-playing video game with hundreds of stats to boost and thousands of potential accomplishments with no walkthrough on youtube showing me the best course of action.  At times that endless set of options was paralyzing. What do you focus on if you can only choose a couple of goals? Amassing wealth? Starting a family? Buying a home? Climbing the corporate ladder? Can you do it all? Worst of all for me was not knowing how to grade myself. Was I doing a good job at anything I was doing?

During that night, after Gabe finished speaking wisdom through wine-stained teeth, I shared my thoughts about wanting the same validation of self-worth that I had in school. We talked through that for some time, but today I’m still left with the same desire that can’t be fulfilled externally. Nothing and no one can give you that “A” in life. So, like everyone else, I must create a rubric by which I can measure success.

Perhaps I fit perfectly into some generational stereotype. I’m not even sure which one I’m in, honestly. Millenials? Generation X? Or is it Y? At any rate, I feel strongly that I have something that needs to be made, something that needs to be built that will make my family and friends happy. I’m not sure what it is yet – maybe an app that will offer solutions to a problem. Maybe it’s a product that gives the people I love something they’ve always wanted. I don’t know. But, if I don’t try and build it, I’ll regret it.

It’s still unclear what scoresheet I will choose to grade myself on. But, Mostly Epic gives me an opportunity and flexibility to chase after that which I choose to measure success.